Writing an obituary is a deeply personal and meaningful task. It is an opportunity to honor a loved one, celebrate their life, and communicate their legacy to the world. But the responsibility can also feel overwhelming, especially during a time of grief. If you’re wondering how to write an obituary, this guide will walk you through the process with care and clarity, offering tips and examples to ensure your words reflect the life and spirit of the person you’re commemorating.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written tribute that announces someone’s passing, provides details about their life, and informs others about memorial services. It is often published in newspapers, online memorial websites, or funeral home pages. Beyond being an announcement, an obituary is a chance to honor the deceased by capturing their essence and sharing cherished memories.
How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide
Step 1: Start with Basic Information
Begin the obituary with fundamental details about the deceased, often referred to as the “announcement” section. Include the following:
- Full name (including any nicknames)
- Age at the time of passing
- Date and place of death
- Cause of death (optional, depending on family preference)
Example:
“Jane Elizabeth Smith, 82, of Springfield, peacefully passed away on November 15, 2024, surrounded by her family after a courageous battle with cancer.”
Step 2: Highlight Key Life Details
After the announcement, focus on sharing the highlights of the person’s life. This section offers a glimpse into their personality, achievements, and values. Consider including:
- Birthdate and birthplace
- Education and career achievements
- Significant relationships (e.g., spouse, children, close friends)
- Hobbies, passions, or notable accomplishments
Keep this section personal and engaging, emphasizing the unique aspects of their life.
“Jane was born on March 2, 1942, in Boston, Massachusetts. A graduate of Boston University, she earned her degree in education and devoted 40 years to teaching elementary school. Known for her warmth and creativity, Jane inspired countless students to follow their dreams. In her free time, she enjoyed painting, gardening, and hosting family dinners, where her famous apple pie was always a favorite.”
Step 3: Acknowledge Relationships
Obituaries often include a list of surviving family members to honor the loved ones left behind. You may also mention predeceased family members to acknowledge their memory.
- Survivors: List immediate family members, such as a spouse, children, grandchildren, or siblings.
- Predeceased Relatives: Mention close family members who passed before them.
Example:
“Jane is survived by her loving husband of 60 years, Robert Smith; her children, Emily (James) Carter and Michael (Laura) Smith; and her grandchildren, Sophie, Ethan, and Olivia. She was preceded in death by her parents, William and Margaret Thompson, and her sister, Anna Thompson.”
Step 4: Share Their Legacy and Impact
Take a moment to reflect on how the deceased impacted their community, friends, and family. Highlight their values, contributions, and any lasting legacy they leave behind.
Example:
“Jane’s unwavering kindness and dedication to her students left an indelible mark on her community. She will be remembered as a devoted teacher, a cherished friend, and a loving matriarch who brought her family together with laughter and love.”
Step 5: Provide Service Details
If you’re including information about memorial services, be clear and concise. Include the following details:
- Date, time, and location of the service
- Whether the service is public or private
- Information about donations or memorial contributions
Example:
“A memorial service will be held on November 25, 2024, at 2:00 PM at St. Mary’s Church, 123 Main Street, Springfield. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Cancer Society in Jane’s honor.”
Step 6: End with a Meaningful Closing
Conclude the obituary with a heartfelt closing statement. This might include a comforting message, a religious sentiment, or a personal reflection.
Example:
“Jane’s family finds solace in knowing that her loving spirit lives on in the hearts of all who knew her. She will be dearly missed and lovingly remembered.”
Tips for Writing a Thoughtful Obituary
Be Authentic
Write in a tone that reflects the deceased’s personality. Was your loved one humorous, serious, or deeply spiritual? Let their voice shine through in your writing.
Keep It Concise
While obituaries are personal, most publications have word limits. Aim to balance brevity with meaningful content by focusing on key life moments and attributes.
Involve Others
Collaborate with family members or close friends to gather details and anecdotes. Their perspectives can enrich the obituary and ensure it feels complete.
Proofread Carefully
Take time to review the obituary for spelling, grammar, and accuracy. Ask someone else to proofread it as well to catch any errors you might have missed.
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing an Obituary
Overloading with Details
While it’s tempting to include every memory or achievement, too much detail can overwhelm readers. Focus on the highlights that best capture the person’s life.
Being Generic
Avoid clichés or overly formal language. Instead of writing, “She was loved by all,” try sharing specific examples, such as, “She made everyone feel welcome with her warm smile and thoughtful gestures.”
Forgetting Key Information
Double-check that you’ve included essential details, like the deceased’s full name, service information, and family members.
Why Writing an Obituary Matters
Honoring a Loved One
An obituary is a tribute that celebrates the life of the deceased. It allows family and friends to reflect on their legacy and keep their memory alive.
Offering Closure
For many, reading or writing an obituary is part of the grieving process. It helps loved ones acknowledge the loss while focusing on the positive impact the person had during their lifetime.
Creating a Historical Record
Obituaries serve as a permanent record of someone’s life, preserving their story for future generations. They also provide valuable genealogical information for those researching family histories.
Sample Obituary Template
Here’s a sample structure to guide you as you write an obituary:
[Full Name], [Age], of [City], passed away on [Date] at [Location]. [Optional cause of death].
[First Name] was born on [Birthdate] in [Birthplace]. [He/She/They] graduated from [School] and worked as [Occupation]. [Brief summary of achievements, passions, and hobbies].
[First Name] is survived by [List of immediate family members]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [List of predeceased relatives].
A memorial service will be held on [Date] at [Time] at [Location]. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to [Organization or Charity].
[Closing statement, e.g., “He will be deeply missed by all who knew him.”]
Final Thoughts – Honoring a Life with Words
Learning how to write an obituary is a meaningful skill that allows you to honor a loved one’s life with care and compassion. By including the essential details, highlighting personal stories, and reflecting their legacy, you create a lasting tribute that comforts family and friends while preserving their memory for years to come. Take your time, write from the heart, and let your words serve as a celebration of a life well-lived.
